Regret
by Lwx
Summary: Somewhere all alone Batman realized how regretful he's for treating her like he did, but is it too late now or will he be able to tell her how he really feels. Chapter 1 and 3 hasn't been Beta read yet.
1. True feelings

Regret: True feelings

It all happened so fast that I couldn't keep up. The unthinkable had happened…or was it? It must be a dream or more precise a nightmare. Like those of the fateful day when I as a child saw helplessly

how my parents were murdered in front of me – nightmares that persecuted me every night since then. Thus just in a moment I would wake up and everything would be as usual. However it didn't

happen…I couldn't wake up no matter how hard I tried.

Somewhere deep inside I always _knew _that it wasn't a nightmare; however, for some reason for the first time in my life despite all logic I desperately hopped that I was wrong. It was a very strange

feeling that I never had before and to be honest I didn't like it, because despite all of my training and countless unimaginable experiences I was losing control.

All of my shields that I had built around me were slowly but surely about to be destroyed; something that should never have happened especially when I was wearing this mask. Thankfully I was all alone,

swallowed by darkness so nobody would see me in this state and more importantly share my fate. However, no matter how I looked at it I just couldn't stop wondering, why all of sudden this was

happening to me? It's not like it's the first time I was looking face to face with death. In my kind of work it was something you did in a daily basis.

I was someone who made others scramble in fear be it friend or foe. An emotionless shadow that could with just one glare suck all hope of the unlucky "victim" it was aim at. Despite all of this no matter

how heartless and cold I seemed to others, I just couldn't help interfering, when someone was in need of help. Although they rarely if ever noticed I was there.

I couldn't afford to show my real self to anyone thus I was constantly wearing a mask – removing the emotionless mask of Batman, just to replace it with the overjoyed mask of playboy Bruce Wayne and

vice versa. The two personas were the polar opposite of each other, thus the few who knew they were the same person, had often wondered how I could change between them – sometimes instantly.

Some were even considering me of have a personality disorder.

Except for Alfred no one had ever seen through my façade not even J'onn the Martian Manhunter who has mindreading ability or so I thought. It was too late I noticed that my mask was slowly but surely

tearing apart in front of a certain blue eyes beauty.

It was the Amazonian princess Diana. We didn't quite get along at the beginning because we had very different ways of viewing things. She strictly followed her Amazonian dogma and was bound to make

prejudice especially against men and I was no exception. However, as time went by she understood more of Man's World and admitted that not all men were trash of the world as she thought at first. By

that time I had already become good friends with her and we had a lot of interesting discussions. Surprisingly she was very intelligent and unlike some others, I knew she was willing to admit her

mistakes. Yet from time to time I just couldn't help myself from teasing her especially by calling her "Princess". Of course very carefully knowing when to stop, because she had a hell of temper and

believe me you don't want to make her angry.

Instinctively we began opening up for each other and slowly I was getting more and more attracted to her. At the beginning I thought it was only physically because you had to admit that she was the

most beautiful woman in the world. She was just like a goddess and if she suddenly claimed to be Aphrodite I wouldn't question that. However, I was far from the truth and I only realized it, when I

thought that I had lost her during one of the missions. The sadness I felt wasn't the kind I would fell for a friend or family member. Afterwards I noticed that she felt the same way but unlike me she

wasn't trying to hide it. As usual I tried to distant myself from her, but as straight forward she was she didn't let me.

No matter how hard I tried to convince myself wrong I couldn't deny anymore, that I loved her. Furthermore she loved me too and she didn't hesitate showing it. In normal circumstance you would think

that I was a lucky guy; however, I was Batman and I couldn't allow myself this kind of feelings. It would defy everything Batman was and I knew that if I gave in for these feelings, I wouldn't be able to

continue as Batman. It wouldn't be the first time I had done something similar although the reason behind it was different or at least this time I was more honest. I was just afraid of letting anyone so

close to myself, my _real_ self. Not Bruce Wayne or Batman but just Bruce – the person who was locked away deep down with no intentions to ever be freed again. If I freely became Bruce once more, I

wasn't sure I could restrict him anymore, thus both Batman and Bruce Wayne would be gone. I wasn't prepared for that yet so I choose to run away from it.

I flatly rejected her without any valid reasons and I knew that it would hurt her; however, it was momentary and she would cope with it, as would I. It took me all of my indomitable will to do that but it

was necessary, because I couldn't restrict my feelings towards her for much longer. Unexpectedly it awoke another strange feeling that I couldn't identify. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't get rid

of it.

Now here in Watchtower as time went by, the same strange feeling was getting stronger. When I glanced at the timer it was showing just under a minute. The feeling got now exponentially stronger;

however, this time around even if just barely I recognized it. It was a feeling I almost never had before, because like fear Batman couldn't afford to have it. My cold and calculating mind was always

making sure that I would never get it. This feeling wasn't fear and no matter how much my mind was desperately trying to convince me that I was wrong, I couldn't escape the heavy weight of regret.

I didn't need to speculate long to know why I was getting this feeling, because an image of Diana was all over my mind blocking everything else. She was standing there watching me with her azure blue

eyes and an angelic smile. Instantly a relaxing feeling rushed through my body; however, it lasted only a short moment. Diana's image was changed now. Her angelic smile was gone and her eyes were

sparkling with different emotions. I could clearly recognize anger and sadness but faintly I saw another feeling which was blurred by the others. It was love.

Realizing just how much pain I had inflicted her by my groundless rejection, it was beyond words to explain just how much regret I was feeling at that moment. I desperately wanted to see her, to tell her

how terribly sorry I was and more importantly just how much I loved her. I don't know how she would react after what I have made her go through but I wanted her to know my real feelings. However, as

quickly as that thought had appeared in my mind I turned it down. It was too late now. I would never allow my selfish wish. It would just end up causing her further pain.

I took another glance at the timer which by now showed twenty seconds. Suddenly I felt an urge to hear her voice just once more. It took me several seconds to clear my mind as much as possible and

take the role of Batman once more.

"Watchtower to Wonder Woman what's your status," I said as emotionless as possible.

"Wonder Woman to watchtower, we have just finished here and were about to call for teleportation to the watchtower. We have several injured in the team although it's nothing too serious. We can

discuss the details later awaiting the teleportation," she said trying to hide her surprise and worry.

"Understood, Batman out," I said in the same emotionless tone as before, but what I didn't expect was that three simple words slip my mouth before I could turn of the com-inc.

"I love you," I heard myself almost whisper and more or less instantly my hand stopped before it could turn the comm. link off.

Realizing the weight of those three words I felt mixed feeling of regret and relief. In one hand I felt relief, because I had finally said how I felt. While in the other hand I felt regret for the undoubted pain

they would inflict to the person I loved. Intensely I awaited her reply but I couldn't hear anything nor anger, disbelieve, happiness or anything else just plain silence. For a moment I was hopeful and a

little disappointed to think, that maybe she didn't hear them; however, somehow I just knew she had heard them and I was cursing myself for what I had done.

My mind was in chaos but somehow it was concentrating on not missing a single word of her reply but it never came. Time stopped every second felt like eternity, while I felt petrified and couldn't move

an inch. I didn't know what to do, everything felt hopeless. Finally I closed my eyes welcoming the well-known darkness. Once I had opened them again I felt calm. For one last time Batman had taken

over. Silently I awaited my fate – my end.


	2. Unspoken words

First I would apologize for the late update although unfortunately I can't promise that the next update will be faster. I know where the story is going but it's hard getting it on paper. Furthermore I'm busy

with studying and work. I would also thank Pepper9873 for beta reading this chapter. Reviews and flames are always welcome as it helps me to improve my writing thus also experience the readers gets.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters Regret: Unspoken words

* * *

I was stunned the moment I heard those three words leave his lips. How long has it been since I longed after them and they never came? How many long, painful days -or even months- it took me to

convince myself that I will never hear them? How much willpower did it take to erase these kinds of feelings towards him? Finally I thought that I had succeeded. That nothing would ever shatter my

resolution.

However, here I was speechless and shaking, unable to do anything. I was isolated from everything around me. I had lost track of time, unable to tell if it was seconds that went by or hours. My heart was

itching to yell those same words back at him. Tears of joy were threatening to leave my eyes. But another feeling was slowly increasing: anger. Before I knew it, my hands were turned into fists, while all

the pain I had felt because of him was roaming in my head.

Does he enjoy torturing me by always keeping my hopes up, just to shatter them at the last moment? Is it some kind of sick joke he's playing? Because if it is, then I swear by gods that he won't get

away with it. Who does he think he is? Did he really think that by saying those words I would forgive him? Those were just a fragment of all the thoughts that were tormenting my mind. My mind was in

turmoil with any kind of rational and/or considerate thinking gone.

As time went by my anger slowly changed its original "victim". I was getting increasingly mad at myself. After everything I went through, I just couldn't comprehend as to why I would still be affected in

this magnitude. I was tearing apart. My heart was desperately begging me to forgive him, while my mind was determined to relief all my anger on him. Slowly but surely, my mind got hold of the

situation. I was Wonder Woman, Princess of Themyscira, and an Amazonian champion. My honor and dignity wouldn't allow forgiving him just yet. I was done chasing after him and getting hurt in the

process. He had to fight for me, show just how much sincerity and worth his words had.

I opened my mouth but the words died away, leaving me speechless once again. Realizing that it was never his intention for me to hear those words. Which meant that it must have slipped his mind.

However nothing ever slipped Batman's mind. Everything he did was always considered thoroughly, especially showing his emotions. Instantly my heart began beating faster as I began feeling uneasy.

Something unimaginable must have happened. I quickly cast this thought away. He was at Watchtower, what could happen? I must have been over thinking, but the bad feeling didn't go away.

Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by a blinding light that illuminated the night sky. With disbelieve I was seeing a carpet of vibrant colors. Most significantly light green and blood red. It was as if

those two lights were dancing together, creating some kind of control in the chaos that consumed them. It reminded me of the heat of a battlefield: beautiful and nightmarish.

As soon as the lights were gone, I noticed that I had lost connection to Batman. I had to talk to him. Further more I wanted to know where the light came from. I tried several times to contact him but

without luck. The bad feeling I had before was dangerously increasing. That's why I decided to use a more unorthodox way of getting in contact with him: J'onn.

"J'onn, can you find Batman? I suddenly lost all contact to him," I mentally contacted him unsuccessfully trying to hide my worry.

There was an unbearable silence for a while. Abruptly it was interrupted by J'onn.

"I can't sense him anywhere, Diana."

His words pierced my mind like a lance.

My eyes began seeking the sky. However, they didn't find what they were seeking, and horror could clearly be seen in my expression. The Watchtower was gone. My legs gave away and I fell on my

knees. My whole body started slowly shaking, while it was getting increasingly hard to breath. Worst of all was the pain I felt in my heart. It felt like someone would rip it apart at any moment. Despite all

my powers I felt hopeless and powerless. Those were feelings I rarely -if ever- felt. I closed my tearful eyes as my subconsciousness took over.

It was clear about what I was getting of life. I wanted to be as happy as I could. I had come to compromise with my destiny. Little did I know what was in store for me. Like a storm he came and he swept

me off like a leaf. I had read love is like this, but I never understood. When he offered me his hand for the first time I still didn't understand. I've been with him for so long still I didn't understand. But

today, when we were parting, for the first time I felt that after this moment I wasn't going to see him ever again. I kept looking back. He was going away. I wanted to stop him, I wanted to say

something, wanted to hear something. But he didn't stop, and I knew that I was in love with him. I had given all my dreams to him, but I still didn't know if he knew how I felt.

Slowly, I opened my eyes as my consciousness was gradually returning. To my surprise a familiar voice was calling me. I looked around me, but to my disappointment there was no one around. "I love

you," I heard his voice once again as clear as the first time he confessed to me. The words came out almost as a whisper, which you normally wouldn't notice. However they reached me. Those simple

three words that could describe best how I felt about him had never left my lips not even once. At least not in front of him. I thought that my actions towards him were enough to reflect how I felt about

him. However, today I find out just how important they were.

Unconsciously the words slipped my lips, and I heard myself say "I love you, too." As soon as I heard myself say them, the realization hit me hard. All while tears filled with mixed feelings of pain, sorrow,

and regret were trilling on my cheeks. Those words would never reach him, nor would they ever leave my lips again. Rays of sunlight touched my face reflecting in my endless tears. It was sunrise. The

night was gone and so was he.


	3. Blame

Sorry, its been quite a while since I updated. Hope I can update sooner next time and that you would enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.

* * *

I was in an unfamiliar dark place. Yet it somehow oddly felt as if I was here before. Furthermore I just couldn't let the feeling that something very important was associated with this place. As I looked

around, I realized that it was some kind of big city. Although I couldn't recall being in many cities, this one was clearly different from the others. The buildings rose as mighty titans thus letting you feel

very small and negligible. The whole place was sparkling an aura of coldness that just screamed to stay away from it. As if to prove my point there was a deadly silence and everything was surrounded in

unnatural cold. I couldn't see or sense any living beings at all. It was as if the city itself was dead.

Abruptly the silence was interrupted by laughter. I looked at the direction the sound came from and noticed a group of three. They were leaving a building with a large glowing sign on it. Strangely I

couldn't read what was on it. As they started getting closer I could see that the group consisted of a man and a woman both in their thirties. Between them was a little boy. The boy appeared to be around

eight years old. Apparently it was a very happy family. Out of the bits of their conversation I could determine that the boy was named Bruce. They had just watched something called "The mask of Zorro"

which Bruce eagerly talked about. I got a very bad feeling about this and a question popped up in my head. What were they doing here? No matter how you looked at it, they seemed out of place. It felt

as if they were illuminating, thus attracting all kind of attention from anyone or anything, that was lurking in the dark. Distracted by thought I didn't realize just how close they had got to me. Apparently

they hadn't noticed me either. Partly because of my dark outfit and just as much, that they were consumed in their own conversation. This gave me another reason for concern as to how careless of them

it was. I tried to evade them but by that time it was too late and in a moment we would bump in each other. However, now that I thought about it, it might not be that bad at all, because it could lead to a

conversation. Given that they didn't get scared away. Considering my clothes and the location, it would seem a natural reaction.

Surprisingly neither happened. They just went through me as if I or they never existed. Stunned I tried apprehending just what had happened. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't find any explanation.

Unless; this was not real and instead it was some kind of dream or illusion. By impulse I pinched my cheek and immediately could feel the slight pain. Confused I stood there in my own little world until I

was brought back to reality by a hoarse, venom voice. I turned around and saw a dark silhouette a few feet away from the family. Bruce got shielded by his mother while his father stepped forward

blocking for his wife and son.

"Thomas…" I heard the woman call out. The voice was low, passionate and full of concern; however, there was also something else. It was something I had seen countless times, although I can't recall

when or where. It was fear. She looked at Thomas and then at Bruce.

"Martha, don't worry too much. It's going to be fine, "

"Don't worry Bruce, nothing bad going to happen," she said with a soft serene voice reassuring him.

"Are you deaf? I said give me your money! That's unless you want something bad to happen," the man's voice came as shattering glass while he simultaneously was pointing some kind of object on them.

Thomas took slowly his purse and handed it to the man who violently snatched it. However, the man was not satisfied by it. He looked intense on the family with his narrow eyes until his sight fell on the

necklace Martha had.

The man aggressively demanded the necklace while his behavior drastically changing to a more violent one. Thomas was trying to calm the man but all in vain. Suddenly the man assaulted Martha;

however, Thomas intervened and was now trying to get the strange object out of the man's hand. The object seemed very familiar; however, like so many other things I didn't know how, but one thing

was clear though, whatever it was, it was giving me a very bad feeling.

My body had already begun moving towards them and in a few moments I would be able to help. To my surprise and horror nothing I tried was helping. Just like before my hands went through them

every time I tried to intervene. It seemed as if they couldn't hear me either, because whatever I said was completely ignored. Like the others I was left hopelessly watching the whole scenario unfold. It

was very frustrating. Abruptly I heard a click which instantly was accompanied by a deafening noise. Then it was as if time itself was drastically slowing down. I saw a small projectile making its way to

Thomas. It took just a moment to reach him but it felt like eternity and against all odds it gave me the slight hope that it never would reach him. At that moment it stroke me, what the object in his hand

was; it was a gun – a deadly weapon with the sole purpose of killing people.

It was very odd. I had just met this family and we hadn't even spoken to each other; however, it felt as if I knew them my whole life and I desperately wanted toprotect them. However, I wasn't able to

do that.

The projectile finally reached its target and dug a deep hole. Mesmerized I watched how moments later Thomas stopped struggling and fell. The blood was quickly draining from his body. I heard a scream

but from whom and why was long lost on me. As I was watching Thomas' last moments, it was as if a part of me was dying with him.

Suddenly the silence was once again interrupted by the deafening sound. As I slowly, afraid of what I would see, turned my gaze against where the sound came from, I saw the man. In one of his hands

he was holding the gun and you could glimpse the small amount of smoke, which was leaving it. While in the other hand, he had a piece of the necklace. Martha lay next to him, while the pool of her blood

was getting bigger. Pearls from her necklace rolled everywhere around her.

Then, there was Bruce. He sat on his knees next to his mother. Understandably he didn't look anything like the cheerful, full of life boy, who he was just a little while ago. Eyes full of tears he was trying in

vain to wake up his mother. The man lifted his gun once again, pointing it at Bruce. With heavy heart I was watching, waiting to see the inevitable fate of the boy. At that time Bruce lifted his head and

looked directly at the man, who had taken so much away from him and probably would take his life. However, there was no fear and instead it was full of anger and hate. Never had I thought, I would see

a glare like this and certainly not from a child. What was though even more disturbing, was that deep down behind all the anger and hate, there was relief. Bruce was welcoming death.

To my and Bruce's surprise the man didn't shoot and instead run away. I don't know why he ran away. It could be his conscience returned or he was afraid someone heard the noise, either way I was glad

he didn't shoot. Bruce in the other hand was anything but happy. It seemed like he was blaming himself for what had just occurred and he saw his own death as retribution. Not to mention as a chance to

reunite with his parents.

I don't know how he could blame himself for causing this. It made my hatred for the man responsible for this even greater. Even though Bruce had survived, it felt as if he was dead. Today he had lost

something very special and with it his happiness and joy. Not to mention that the guilt he felt right now, would most likely prevent him from gaining happiness in the future. I wanted to reassure him;

however, I couldn't. Not only because of the ghostly form I had, but also cause I simply didn't know how. Without realizing I kneeled down and hugged him. I don't know how long we've been there like

that and honestly I didn't care. I wanted to help this boy, somehow take some of his burden. Most likely this was not helping him in anyway, but this was the only thing I could do.

Suddenly there was a bright light and it was getting brighter. Everything around me was being consumed by it. It seemed as if they were dissolving. I closed my

eyes and when I opened them again, I was surprisingly in the cave.

* * *

This chapter might be a bit confusing. One of the reasons for that is, that this chapter's content wasn't supposed to be this long and only should have been the first half of chapter 3. For better or worse I

ended up with this. The important thing is that POV is from a grown up Bruce and he has some problems with his memory; however, it will be further explained in chapter 5. If everything go as I originally

had in mind for this story, I will be shifting POV between Diana and Bruce each chapter.


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